Who is the Wedding for??

I have only been engaged for little over two months and I am enjoying and looking forward to the planning of our forthcoming wedding. But I can already get annoyed, frustrated and frankly sick to my stomach when reading forum discussions on the subject.

You simply must have this! You better not have that, so tacky! How can you live with yourself if you don't give the guests xxxxx!

People go crazy. Stark raving mad. It's very easy to become blinded by all the discussions. To have your own values shifted by the hoard of opinionated people coming at you from all sides; fellow brides, parents, family, guests. It might sound crude, but they shouldn't matter. It is not their day and they should be honoured to be a part of what ever me and my future husband decide to do for our wedding. If I wanted to wear a bikini and get married in a pool, then that should be fine. If I wanted to skip the wedding cake, then fine. If I choose to have a very low key affair, with just a couple of people, fine. It should all be fine. But instead every decision is discussed, scrutinised and argued about.

I am very worried that we will end up having the wedding other people wants us to have. It makes me not want to involve other people in the planning, even though I would love nothing more than for my family to be a part of it. Already its started. About who must be invited. About what is right to do with regards to food and alcohol. It's all well meant. But I can feel their opinions swaying me away from my own (yet fully formed) opinions.

So when do you involve them? Ever?