Thoughts about money

I went for a job interview the other day. Unfortunately I didn't end up getting the job, but while I was in limbo about the outcome I managed to re-think most things about our wedding. I'm known for being good with money and very rarely spend over my budget. So when I all of a sudden saw the possibility of earning an extreme amount of money I couldn't help to think of what I would do with them. A fancier venue. More people invited. More expensive dress. Transport to the venue. Fancier food. Longer honeymoon.

It didn't last very long as I was told quite quickly that I hadn't been selected for the position. I got far more upset about this than I thought I would. Not because it was an awesome job (just awesomely paid), but for a few hours I hadn't had to worry about money. It's extremely hard, not to say impossible, to plan for a wedding when you have no idea how your economy will look in the future. We are planning an imminent move from London to Sweden and with that we will both become unemployed. We need to sort out somewhere to live and everything else that comes along with starting a new life. How can I possibly know what we might earn or not earn?

All of these thoughts are constantly spinning in my head. It scares the living crap out of me, but at the same time I'm not hesitating to follow my gut feeling. You might try new things or stay in an old rut. Either way things can fall apart and go straight to hell. But it's the possibility of success and happiness that drives me to do the things I do. If you don't try, how will you ever know? I will not live my life in fear. And I know that after a period of sleepless nights and constant worry, I will come out stronger, better and happier. And that's what its all about.

There will be a wedding. There is no question about that. What budget we will have or when and where it will take place will eventually come together.

I have faith in the future.