Back from the dead

We have finally started to settle in to our new life in Sweden. The adjustment of moving from London to a small town in Sweden has been harder than I expected. David seem to deal with it better than me, but I'm trying to keep my chin up. Most things are great and we don't regret the choice to move here, but there are a lot of things I miss.

I am still determined to get married next year, but I need to be realistic. As we rented flats that were furnished in the UK, we ended up in our new flat with no furniture at all. We have had to buy everything and I mean everything. I have spent more money during the last month than I have spent in years. On the upside I have a job at least until the end of January 2012 and David is looking. If we could both be employed at the same time, we would end up having a better economy than we have ever had. One of us have always been a student/part time employed/out of work .

I have always planned for a budget wedding, so I'm not panicking about anything. Things will work out. All I want to do is get married to my fiance and feel pretty while doing so. I don't care if it's down the registry office or in a castle. I'll happily get married on a shoestring budget. I never dreamt of a wedding as a little girl and I can't say I dream of one now. I dream of a marriage to the man I love. Something that will happen if we spent a grand or a hundred grands.

Update

It's been very quiet here during the last month. We are in the middle of arranging our move from the UK to Sweden and there have been far too many things do deal with to keep up the blog. Once everything is sorted I promise to get back into the wedding stuff.

A laugh a day keeps the doctor away

My friends got married today!

Today I attended the second wedding of my life. Two of my friends got married today. I've known the woman since I was 6 years old and the man since they became a couple 12 years ago. They are considered family, but unfortunately they live quite far away, so I don't get to see them as often as I wish.

They have been together for 12 years and have a three month old son. They didn't want to make any fuss about their wedding, they simply wanted to get married and that's exactly what happened. We were only six guests at the wedding. My mum and dad (who was their legal witnesses), my sister and me (who took the wedding photos) and David and their three month old baby boy.

They chose to do this for personal reasons and due to very complicated family relationships. I am very honoured to have been a part of their special day.

The ceremony was very simple. We were stood in a beautiful green area next to the sea. Afterwards we went to a cafe and had fresh shrimp sandwiches and coffee. In the evening we went to a restaurant in town and to have the wedding dinner. The bride was wearing a white summer dress, flats and a scarf. The groom was wearing a three piece suit.

The best thing about the day was to see how happy the wedding couple was. Sometimes all you need is love.

What Rain Means...

It's looking like it's going to rain like never before tomorrow on the day of my sisters graduation. I feel so sorry for her and her friends as a lot of the activities during the day is taking place outside. The party will most likely be moved from the porch to the livingroom or kitchen which is a horrible shame.

That would be one of my worries If we decide to have the wedding at my parents house. How much fun is it to have your wedding around the kitchen table??

Memories From Our Past

The second day of living in university halls, and the second day of knowing my fiance, the people from our corridor went to a gay karaoke bar to drink and sing. My fiance sang this cheesy early 90's song, which I had never heard before. I remember screaming and cheering him on and thinking how much I liked this guy. It was also the first time I got jealous (I've later realized) as I thought the other girls from the corridor were being a bit pushy. As I had met him first (the day before) he was my friend first. Very childish, but maybe there was already something there that we didn't know about?

Anyway, I now love this song because it reminds me of how amazing my fiance is and how much I love him.

My Thoughts About Hen Parties

I know my wedding is a far far way away yet and the date is not even set, but one thing I've been thinking about is what my hen party might be like. I know the bride is not suppose to know anything about, or have any part in arranging her own hen do. However, I have read too many stories on the wedding forum about brides ho have been disappointed about what has happened to them. So my plan is to discuss the idea of a hen party with my close ones well in advance, even before theplanning of the weddingproperly starts. Just talk about hen do's in general and tell them what I really don't want and what I might like. My close ones have a really good memory for things like this and I know they would respect my wishes. I don't want to know when, where, how, and what is going to happen. I'm not a bridezilla. I want to be surprised. But I just want to make sure that 1) there is going to be a hen party at all and 2) that it's not something I'd hate.

The one thing I wouldn't want is for it to be a "humiliation hen do". I would hate to be dressed up in horrible clothes, get clown make up and forced to sell kisses or other things. This is just so not me and I wouldn't find it funny at all. My worst nightmare. I wouldn't mind getting dressed up with sashes, veils etc. But I want to feel beautiful at the same time.

OK NOT OK

Other than that I'm open to suggestion: pentathlon, dinner, spa, drinks, picnic, games, make up courses, shopping trip, go-cart... I don't really mind as long as the people I care about are there and I'm having a relaxed and fun time.

Bad Month

May has been a very bad month for this blog, which have only seen 7 posts. However, there have been other things in life more pressing than our forthcoming wedding.

We are flying to Sweden in a few days to attend my sisters graduation. I'm hoping that seeing my family and friends again, together with all the graduation celebrations, will awaken my interest in wedding planning yet again.

Until then...

Thank You David

Thank You David - for always being there, for always believing in me and for always loving me.

My sister's Upcoming Graduation Party

In little over a month we're going to Sweden for a week for my sisters graduation. She'll be celebrated in style at my parents house (just like me and my other sister before her). For me it's an opportunity to observe wether or not our wedding possibly could be held at my childhood home. I have some doubts; I don't want it to feel just like any party, it might be a bit small for what we want to do, do I really want my parents to host it etc. So it will be good to just get a proper feel for what it's like during a party. Cause I don't want to rely on my memory to make a decision.

Of course mostly we'll just be celebrating my gorgeous baby sister and her accomplishments. Can't wait to see everyone back home again.

Update

Haven't updated for a while. I'm always thinking of our wedding, but there have been other things taking up my time. Temporary work, easter holidays... you name it. The four day easter break has been wonderful. The weather has been amazing, with summer heat and temperatures reaching an amazing 26. Me and David got to spend some precious time together and I feel like I've fallen in love with him all over again. We both work very long hours we don't get to spend as much time together as we would like, so extra time together is priceless. We took long walks, had picnics in the park and afternoon tea on an outdoor balcony. This week is only a three day working week as we have a royal wedding here in London on Friday. Even more time together. Yay!

We have also had a hard drive failure which means all my wedding pictures and files of inspirations have been lost. Thankfully I have the most important things here in the blog, but it's still a shame.

I will be back with more updates. Just give me some time.

Still Perfect

I still can't let go of the dress I found yesterday. It might be a really bad thing, as I don't want to get hung up on something I can't get. But I haven' seen anything like it anywhere else. I have done more research and still can't find any prices. I have found a website that does copies of designer dresses and where a copy of this dress is reasonably priced. But I'm really worried that they would ruin the design as it's so delicate. Even if it's a good price for a wedding dress I'm not in a position where I can spend money on something that might turn out to be an unusable train wreck. I'm not even suppose to have found THE dress yet. Our wedding is too far away for me to buy anything that important. I was only looking for inspiration. Hopefully my love for this dress will dwindle with time, as things usually do. If you, like me at the moment, have absolutely no money to spare, you simply can't get hooked on things. I can't afford to buy anything right now and definitely not a designer wedding dress. But I guess a girl can dream...

My current thoughts about our Wedding

I can't tell you how much this blog has helped me in getting inspired and plan for my upcoming wedding. By posting ideas and inspiration I'm slowly, but steadily finding out what I really want our wedding to be like. It gives me time to think through alternatives for a few days and get a gut feeling about them. At the moment this is what I want, even though I don't know how it would be arranged logistically:

1. Outdoor ceremony: Preferably by the seafront or in a garden. The guests are seated, not standing up. There are someone singing live.
2. Outdoor reception venue: I want it too feel friendly and the party to be easygoing, but not boring and 'cheap'.
3. Food: Pre-drinks (wedding toast), main buffet (Mediterranean inspired with loads of vegetarian options, fruit, bread and possibly a barbecue for the meat eaters), dessert buffet OR a sundae bar.
4. Dancing: All I want is to do the First Dance. After that I'm not too bothered. So dance floor is not a priority for me at the moment.
5. Decorations: I want buntings, candles, table runners, possibly flowers.

The more I think about it the more I want something that feels personal and friendly and not a set wedding package that every other couple opts for. I want it to be just for us.

Thoughts about money

I went for a job interview the other day. Unfortunately I didn't end up getting the job, but while I was in limbo about the outcome I managed to re-think most things about our wedding. I'm known for being good with money and very rarely spend over my budget. So when I all of a sudden saw the possibility of earning an extreme amount of money I couldn't help to think of what I would do with them. A fancier venue. More people invited. More expensive dress. Transport to the venue. Fancier food. Longer honeymoon.

It didn't last very long as I was told quite quickly that I hadn't been selected for the position. I got far more upset about this than I thought I would. Not because it was an awesome job (just awesomely paid), but for a few hours I hadn't had to worry about money. It's extremely hard, not to say impossible, to plan for a wedding when you have no idea how your economy will look in the future. We are planning an imminent move from London to Sweden and with that we will both become unemployed. We need to sort out somewhere to live and everything else that comes along with starting a new life. How can I possibly know what we might earn or not earn?

All of these thoughts are constantly spinning in my head. It scares the living crap out of me, but at the same time I'm not hesitating to follow my gut feeling. You might try new things or stay in an old rut. Either way things can fall apart and go straight to hell. But it's the possibility of success and happiness that drives me to do the things I do. If you don't try, how will you ever know? I will not live my life in fear. And I know that after a period of sleepless nights and constant worry, I will come out stronger, better and happier. And that's what its all about.

There will be a wedding. There is no question about that. What budget we will have or when and where it will take place will eventually come together.

I have faith in the future.

Who is the Wedding for??

I have only been engaged for little over two months and I am enjoying and looking forward to the planning of our forthcoming wedding. But I can already get annoyed, frustrated and frankly sick to my stomach when reading forum discussions on the subject.

You simply must have this! You better not have that, so tacky! How can you live with yourself if you don't give the guests xxxxx!

People go crazy. Stark raving mad. It's very easy to become blinded by all the discussions. To have your own values shifted by the hoard of opinionated people coming at you from all sides; fellow brides, parents, family, guests. It might sound crude, but they shouldn't matter. It is not their day and they should be honoured to be a part of what ever me and my future husband decide to do for our wedding. If I wanted to wear a bikini and get married in a pool, then that should be fine. If I wanted to skip the wedding cake, then fine. If I choose to have a very low key affair, with just a couple of people, fine. It should all be fine. But instead every decision is discussed, scrutinised and argued about.

I am very worried that we will end up having the wedding other people wants us to have. It makes me not want to involve other people in the planning, even though I would love nothing more than for my family to be a part of it. Already its started. About who must be invited. About what is right to do with regards to food and alcohol. It's all well meant. But I can feel their opinions swaying me away from my own (yet fully formed) opinions.

So when do you involve them? Ever?

Valentine's Day is Our Anniversary

This past Monday was the 14th February and thus Valentine's Day. For me and David, this is a special day in more than one way. It was on this day, 4 years ago, that we shared our very first kiss. We have been together for four whole years now. It feels like forever and yet like no time has passed at all. The way it's suppose to feel when you know something will last forever. This Valentine's Day we stayed in, because we'd just spent the weekend at the wonderful Landmark Hotel in London (more about that to come), and felt we could do with an evening of cuddles at home. We didn't spend a lot of money as the hotel had been quite expensive, but it was a very good night anyway. I'd bought David chocolates and a card and he surprised me with little gifts and a big gift which meant I had some extra time to look for a new job. Thanks my love, I needed that.

4 years together and now we are planning our wedding. Much in our lives are far for perfect, but us two, together, that is perfect.

Just because

I'm not going to write about weddings today. Life is just not great at the moment. I'm a little ball of pain. My sinuses are exploding and my tummy is cramping. Job hunting is stressful. And I'm not the nicest person to be around. So thank you David. For being around me anyway. I love you.